Dear Abby: My neighbor lost her ring—now she’s accusing me of stealing it

Dear ABBY: A neighbor and longtime friend accused me of stealing a ring. I had provided transportation for her to visit her husband while he was in rehab recovering from a broken leg. I also took it to other jobs

One day, she got bored. She told me she had lost a folded handkerchief that held something important, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. Eventually, she said she had a special ring wrapped around it, so we looked at my car a few times.

I tried to help her retrace her steps and also asked her when and where she might have left her pocket open or unattended. She then said that I was the only one who had been with her pocket and that she was always very careful with her purse. I ignored her subtle accusation because I knew she was worried and frustrated.

My neighbor later came over for dinner with my family and I gave her a ride or two. She then made a threatening phone call. When I went to her house (with a gift of food) to address the situation, she didn’t answer the door, although I’m pretty sure I heard her inside. After that, I stopped answering her phone messages asking for more rides and other help. I hoped she would find her misplaced item.

Today, she knocked on my front door while I was out and gave my 13 year old daughter an angry text that she wanted her ring back. My daughter was very upset, as these are neighbors we have known for a long time and were always friendly. This is extremely disturbing and I am not sure how to respond, or how to resolve this. – INNOCENT IN COLORADO

BELOVED INNOCENT: Your neighbor may have interpreted your non-response to her messages as a sign of guilt. You can repeat that you’re innocent until the cows come home because I’m guessing her mind was pretty much made up that you were guilty after she “subtly” accused you of taking the ring. Without taking a lie detector test to prove your innocence, I doubt you’ll be able to say anything to convince him. It is unfortunate, but your long friendship with this woman has come to an end. Even if she finds her ring, your relationship will never be the same.

DEAR ABBY: If you ask a guy out to dinner three times and each time he says he’s already eaten, is it okay to stop trying to be friends? I feel like he could have been more honest about eating and said something like, “Can I just have a soda or coffee? I’d like to spend time with you.”

Anyway, I stopped talking to him and then he asked me why I wasn’t asking yet. When I told him why, he said he told me to take him out on his birthday. Don’t love my company until it’s right for you? Now I’m confused. I think I’ll look elsewhere for a friend. – INFORMED IN THE EAST

DEAR IGNORED: When someone declines three invitations, it means they are not interested. Do the poor guy (and yourself) a favor – quit trying to write off your relationships and look elsewhere for friendship.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.