Dear Abby: I cheated on my wife with an 80-year-old woman – can I still keep my marriage?

Dear ABBY: My wife and I are both in our mid-50s. Because of a medical problem she has, we rarely have sex. I don’t think about it very often anymore. Meanwhile, I have a friend “Edi”. We have been friends for several years. I put it in my side job as a laborer. She is in her 80s.

My wife has met Ed and jokingly calls him “sweetheart”, at least I think so. From time to time, Eddie would make little sexual comments, which I never noticed at first. When I met them, I never thought much of them.

One day recently, Eddie was having a bad day and was crying because he wanted to feel alive. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. Now she is “awakened” and always wants to engage in sex when I see her. So far I haven’t cheated on my wife in all the years we’ve been married and it weighs heavily on my mind.

I love my wife and I don’t want to lose her or the relationship we have. I also don’t want to ruin the relationship I have with Eddie, if possible, who is just a good friend and nothing more. Edie’s health is starting to get a bit fragile and, according to her family history, she will only live a few more years. She really doesn’t have many friends or family to spend time with.

Can I keep my wife and my friendship with Ed? Please give me some good advice as I struggle with what to do. –– GOOD MAN AND FRIEND

DEAR HUSBAND/FRIEND: Wake up! I have news for you. Ever since you started serving Ed, she’s become anything but a “good friend,” and you’ve become, in a sense, her boy toy.

If you love your wife, stop the budding affair now before it gets out of hand and your wife finds out. If you allow this to continue, your wife will be hurt and there is a good chance that your marriage will fall apart.

Dear ABBY: My 28 year old son was killed by a semi in a hit and run. We didn’t find out for weeks until he was identified by fingerprints. My husband and I were faithful members of a church congregation. I have been in charge of the nursery many times. For three months before the accident, I had babysat for a church member for free because her father was ill with cancer.

When my son, Abby, was killed, not one person sent a pan or called me. Of course, I didn’t go to church for a few weeks. But no one, including the preacher, reached out! Since then, I no longer attend that particular congregation. Am I expecting too much? – SO HURT IN THE SOUTH

Dear SO HURT: Please accept my condolences on the tragic loss of your son. As an active member of that congregation, you expected a response rather than universal silence. More than one person dropped the ball after your tragedy, and under the circumstances, your hurt is natural. You did the right thing by changing churches and I hope you are getting emotional support from the new congregation you have joined.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.